None For Gretchen Weiners

Stuff I like that you might also enjoy


It is a very important person’s very important birthday today. Justin Bieber is finally legal in the United States. In honor of this, I present to you:

Post 1: Biebs.

If the man of my dreams offered me either an engagement ring, or tickets to a Justin Bieber concert, I’d have a very similar if not identical emotional response.

Having this is as my first post is probably blogger self-suicide, since 90% of the people reading this probably hate Justin Bieber, but I don’t care. I love him. Anyway…

It all started as a joke. I, too, was among the “haters.” I didn’t beliebe the hype. I literally said, “who is this 12 year old douche,” to a roommate while she watched him dance with Ludacris on YouTube back in ’09 (He was 15… I’m such an idiot). In a campaign of self-amusement (which is pretty much how I go through life… making jokes for myself), I took the role as a belieber and pretended to be a fanatic. It was hilarious (but only to myself).

In the time that I spent pretending to love JB, I actually fell in love. It’s like that movie, where the girl pretends to like the guy and ends up falling for him… only we don’t actually know each other and I’m pretty sure we’re not going to get married in the end. Whatever it was a good analogy for the most part.

Quoting one of my favorite YouTube personalities, Jenna Marbles, Biebs sings “like a angel sliding down a rainbow.”

If you don’t beliebe us, listen to this:

That, there, is raw talent. I don’t care if you don’t like his style of music or songwriting. His voice is unreal. How many kids do you know that can sing that well? And for everyone who thought the angelic sound wouldn’t last post-puberty, get this:

FF to 8:06. Did you hear that?! Freaking STEVIE WONDER thinks JB sounds like him when he was a little boy.

Back to the song. I feel like Christmas music is an accessible genre for anyone. If you love Christmas, you undoubtedly love Christmas music. It’s easy to like an artist when they successfully perform a song you already like and are familiar with. I love Christmas. I also love Justin Bieber. Hence, this song = boner.

His jacket and earrings in that video kind of make him look like a lesbian. I like it. I hope that doesn’t make me a lesbian. Oh well. I guess it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing if you’re performing with Stevie Wonder.

My main point is that you can’t argue talent. I’m not saying you should start liking bubblegum pop music aimed at 8-16 year old girls. You can leave that to me.

But at least respect talent when it slaps you in the face in a purple American Apparel hoodie.

Justin has been compared to Elvis, MJ, Stevie, and even the Beatles (not sure how I feel about that last one). I’m guessing this offends their fans, since whenever you idolize an artist or public figure, you think no one else could possibly compare. How dare they compare this little pre-teen douche to MJ?! Trust me… I know how you feel. I was once there. Before I reached enlightenment. Bieblightenment. That didn’t work…….  Justinlightenment. Maybe. Whatever.

It wasn’t till I appreciated Biebs as his own artist – and stopped comparing him to everything else in my musical reference – that I became a belieber. His movie also helped just a little bit. You should watch it sometime.

You never know. You might become a belieber yourself. Never say never (OmG LoL what a g00d Pun!!).

So happy birthday, baby Biebs. You’re a real man, now. I think. 


One comment on “Biebs.

  1. Rafael
    March 2, 2012

    Good arguments, especially "you can’t argue talent". We really can't.Also, you write in a funny way so that in the end you almost convinced me to see your point of view. If only it wasn't about JB…Anyway, I liked it.

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