None For Gretchen Weiners

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Have Yourself a Merry Little Bieber

yeah so this is happening

Friends, today was a big day. Today I somehow convinced my parents to drop a couple hundred dollars on Bieber tickets. I don’t know if it’s because I guilted the shit out of them framed it with Christmas cheer and the concept of not having to shop for a gift. Maybe it was out of fear of my impending salary-based eating disorder. Who knows.

wait.. that’s not right, is it?

Side note, I write these kinds of emails to my parents ALL the time (no surprise here). So I completely anticipated an entirely unfazed response. Something along the lines of, “hahahahaha…gofuckyourself.” Or, “oh sweetheart you just crack us up. Justin Bieber. That’s hilarious.” And I’d be like, IM SERIOUS DAD!!! And then things would get awkward.

see? super awkward.

But somehow, by some miracle of God and intervention of divine spirits, my dad responded BY GIVING ME TICKETS. After checking my pulse and reassuring myself that this was, in fact, real, I proceeded to freak the eff out have a small, contained celebration at my desk.

Not sure how this manifested, but what I do know is that we can learn from this.

HOW TO GET YOUR PARENTS TO DO WHAT YOU WANT, an example (yes, this is an actual email):

To: Mommy, Daddy

Subject: A Desperate Plea

Dearest Mother and Father,

It is that time again, a time when we put ourselves on the line and share our highest hopes and biggest dreams with the ones we love: Christmastime. And this Christmas, God has blessed us with a second chance at a missed opportunity: seeing Justin Bieber IN THE FLESH perform live.

Yes, it is true. Justin Bieber is the headliner for night two of 102.7 KIIS FM’s annual Jingle Ball. This most festive of events has now been christened with the angelic musings and wonderment of Justin Bieber. And because I am a crazy person so in touch with Bieber, I already signed up for KIIS VIP presale alerts. The password came today (it’s SEACREST), but unfortunately the only available tickets are $185. Seeing how I make a pittance in salary and have student loans, this would pose a bit of a problem for me. Although I am totally willing to sacrifice all solid foods for three months in order to make this dream a reality, I worry that I would no longer fit into my clothes and I can’t afford a new wardrobe.

What I’m really saying is, please love me. And by please love me, I mean, please get me Bieber tickets for Christmas. Like I’ve said many a time, “if you get this for me, I’ll never ask for anything ever again.” It’s endearing, isn’t it?

I love you. Oh so much.

By the way, great job losing weight, you two. Looking fabulous.

PS did I mention you’re awesome?


Your loving daughter who loves you very much.

So there you have it. For some reason, this particular message struck a chord with my parents. Either that, or they just are really over my bs and gave in. Either way, it’s Christmas in my world and OMGIMGOINGTOSEEJUSTINBIEBER!!!!

I’m coming for you Bieber

Merry early Christmas.

aaaand i’m just being self indulgent now.

PS… thanks mom and dad  : )


One comment on “Have Yourself a Merry Little Bieber

  1. Zandorasbox
    November 2, 2012

    I mean he IS over 18…I guess this is acceptable now…

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This entry was posted on October 19, 2012 by and tagged , , , , .
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